"Have you ever had any of these thoughts?
- God doesn't really care about me.
- I am an unlovable, worthless person. Nobody will ever love me.
- I'll never be able to change.
- I've been a failure all my life. I guess I'll always be a failure.
- If people really knew me, they wouldn't like me."
"Some
of us have deep emotional and spiritual scars, but all of us bear the
effects of our own sinful nature and the imperfections of others."
"Human
beings develop elaborate defense mechanisms to block pain and gain
significance. We suppress emotions; we are compulsive perfectionists;
we drive ourselves to succeed, or withdraw and become passive; we
attack people who hurt us; we punish ourselves when we fail; we try to
say clever things to be accepted; we help people so that we will be
appreciated; and we say and do countless other things."
"Whether
your hurts are deep or relatively mild, it is wise to be honest about
them so that healing can begin. Relatively few of us experience the
blend of contentment and godly intensity that God desires for each
person."
"From life's outset, we find ourselves on
the prowl, searching to satisfy some inner, unexplained yearning. Our
hunger causes us to search for people who will love us. Our desire for
acceptance pressures us to perform for the praise of others. We strive
for success, driving our minds and bodies harder and farther, hoping
that others will appreciate us more."
"But the man
or woman who lives only for the love and attention of others is never
satisfied for long. Despite our efforts, we will never find lasting,
fulfilling peace if we have to continually prove ourselves to others.
Our desire to be loved and accepted is a symptom of a deeper need-the
need that often governs our behavior and is the primary source of our
emotional pain. Often unrecognized, this is our need for self-worth."
"What
a waste to attempt to change behavior without truly understanding the
driving needs that cause such behavior! Yet, millions of people spend a
lifetime searching for love, acceptance, and success without
understanding the need that compels them. Whether labeled "self esteem"
or self-worth," the feeling of significance is crucial to man's
emotional, spiritual, and social stability, and is the driving element
with the human spirit. We must understand that this hunger for
self-worth is God-given and can only be satisfied by Him."
"Genesis
recounts man's creation, revealing man's intended purpose (to honor
God) and man's value (that he is a special creation of God). John 10:10
also reminds us of how much God treasures His creations, in that Christ
came so that man might experience "abundant life." However, as
Christians, we need to realize that this abundant life is lived in a
real world filled with pain, rejection, and failure. Therefore,
experiencing the abundant life God intends for us does not mean that
our lives will be problem-free. On the contrary, life itself is a
series of problems that often act as obstacles to our search for
significance, and the abundant life is the experience of God's love,
forgiveness, and power in the midst of these problems. The Scriptures
warn us that we live within a warfare that can destroy our faith, lower
our self-esteem, and lead us into depression. As Christians, our
fulfillment in this life depends not on our skills to avoid life's
problems, but on our ability to apply God's specific solutions to those
problems. Our value is not dependent on our ability to earn the fickle
acceptance of people, but rather, its true source is the love and
acceptance of God. He created us. He alone knows how to fulfill all of
our needs."
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