At the root of anger is the lack of faith in God.
In the past I was struck when Daniel commented with the question "why are you always angry?"
The notion of discipline a child has taken the meaning of being strict,
to be strong in asserting what is right and wrong, good and bad, in the
course of raising the child.
Yet rather than moral discipline, I have been influenced by society so
much that I focus only on actions that will allow him to be competitive
socially. e.g. I focus on early head starts socially
and academically, expect him to develop the sense of importance for
learning not for its own sake, but so that he will remain competitive
and secure his future potential in society.
This has tremendous expectation in the child, who will often with a
child's playful heart, fail to meet such burdens. Consequently I
become angry, superficially because he did not listen to my commands or
guidance, but in reality because of my fear - what will you become and
how will you able to fend for yourself in the midst of the difficulties
of life ahead of you, if you keep up with the way you are?
At the core, this is the lack of trust in God, who will lead and guide
people in the slow development through life. Strong willed
parents essentially display the fear that things running in a relaxed
manner will be ruined, and need stringent control. Yet even for
ourselves we know that it will really lead to catastrophy.
We learn best not because we have to, not out of fear that if we don't
do something bad things will happen. We learn best when guided by
our passion, and when surrounded by security and love.
So my new resolution is to have a renewed intimacy with God myself, and
to remind myself constantly to take it easy with a child's
development. I need to revisit my sense of the true source of
security and importance in life. (Finish the book "The Search for
Significiance by Robert McGee"). Furthermore, I start to notice
the wisdom in the book titled "Shepherding a child's heart".
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